Stolen From Joe Lyddon:
The Presidential election of 2012 was too close to call. Neither Mitt Romney nor Barack Obama had enough electoral votes to win. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but it was mutually decided that a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the most sportsmanlike way to settle this election.
*The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week would win the election and become the President of the United States of America. *
After much of back and forth negotiations, it was decided that the contest would take place on the remote frozen Lake Metigoshe, in north central North Dakota, a non-swing state that could be considered a neutral site. There were to be no observers present with each fishing candidate. Both men were to be sent out separately on this isolated lake near the Canadian border. Both would return at 5 PM with their day's catch for counting and verification by a team of neutral parties.
*At the end of the first day *of fishing in sub-zero temperatures out on the lake, The Michigan raised Mitt Romney returned to the starting line and he had 10 walleyes.
Soon thereafter, Barack Obama returned and had no fish.
Well, everyone assumed he was just having a bad day, or something, and hopefully, he would catch up with the next day's fishing tally.
*At the end of the second day,* Mitt came in with 20 northern pike and Barack came in again with none.
*That evening,* the Democratic Advisors, Cabinet Members, Appointees and Czars to Obama got together secretly, and his Campaign Manager, David Axelrod said, "We think Romney is a low-life, cheating Republican son-of-a-gun. Tomorrow, we all recommend that you don't even bother fishing, President Obama. Hide on the shore in the evergreens and spy on Romney to see how he's cheating so we can expose the truth about his "not being fair". We can leak that shocking revelation to our friends in the media so the public will be on our side, regardless of the outcome of the agreed competition.
*The next night,* after Mitt returned with 50 walleyes, pike and trout and Barack again had none, the Democrats got together to hear Barack Obama's eye witness report of how the Republicans were cheating.
The astonished incumbent Obama told his supporters,
*"Let me, umm, make this, umm, perfectly clear...you're not gonna to believe this... but he's cuttin holes in the ice!"*
*The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week would win the election and become the President of the United States of America. *
After much of back and forth negotiations, it was decided that the contest would take place on the remote frozen Lake Metigoshe, in north central North Dakota, a non-swing state that could be considered a neutral site. There were to be no observers present with each fishing candidate. Both men were to be sent out separately on this isolated lake near the Canadian border. Both would return at 5 PM with their day's catch for counting and verification by a team of neutral parties.
*At the end of the first day *of fishing in sub-zero temperatures out on the lake, The Michigan raised Mitt Romney returned to the starting line and he had 10 walleyes.
Soon thereafter, Barack Obama returned and had no fish.
Well, everyone assumed he was just having a bad day, or something, and hopefully, he would catch up with the next day's fishing tally.
*At the end of the second day,* Mitt came in with 20 northern pike and Barack came in again with none.
*That evening,* the Democratic Advisors, Cabinet Members, Appointees and Czars to Obama got together secretly, and his Campaign Manager, David Axelrod said, "We think Romney is a low-life, cheating Republican son-of-a-gun. Tomorrow, we all recommend that you don't even bother fishing, President Obama. Hide on the shore in the evergreens and spy on Romney to see how he's cheating so we can expose the truth about his "not being fair". We can leak that shocking revelation to our friends in the media so the public will be on our side, regardless of the outcome of the agreed competition.
*The next night,* after Mitt returned with 50 walleyes, pike and trout and Barack again had none, the Democrats got together to hear Barack Obama's eye witness report of how the Republicans were cheating.
The astonished incumbent Obama told his supporters,
*"Let me, umm, make this, umm, perfectly clear...you're not gonna to believe this... but he's cuttin holes in the ice!"*
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