Ed

Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his 

sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.
 

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 

'You died in your sleep, Ed.'
Ed was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too 

much to live for. Send me back!'
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go 

back, and that is as a chicken.'
Ed was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm 

near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with 

feathers, clucking and pecking the ground..
rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? 

How's your first day here?'
'Not bad,' replied Ed the hen, 'but I have this strange 

feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'
'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've

never laid an egg before?' 'Never,' said Ed.
'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'
He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!  

He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood.  

He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming..
 

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the 

back of his head, and heard.....
"Ed, wake up! You shit the bed!"
 

Getting OLD just ain't what they said it would be!