Retirement Bonus

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an 

early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered 

for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a 

straight line between any Two points in his body. The officer got to 

choose what those two points would be. The first officer who accepted 

asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. 

He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
 

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be 

measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked 

out with $96,000. 

The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a 

grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured 

replied, 'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.' It was suggested by 

the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the 

nice big checks the previous two Officers had received. But the old 

Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the 

 measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.

The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' 

which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip 

of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!", he 

suddenly exclaimed,''Where are your testicles?''
The old Chief calmly replied, ''Vietnam''.